Sexual Predators Are Not “Monogamous”

2017-10-26 – In these days of #MeToo we’ve seen a lot of horrifying statistics about the numbers of women who have raped, sexually abused, and sexually harrassed. Charles Blow, one of my favorite stat guys gave us the dismal truth in today’s New York Times in a piece entitled “Checking My Male Privilege.”

While it is definitely important to understand the magnitude of the problem, I notice that Blow’s stats are exclusively about the women’s experience. What are the stats on the men’s side of the aisle?

I ask this, not to excuse men.

I ask this because, in order to begin to fix the problem, we need to know who the predators are. Not all men are sexual predators. And some men are multiple predators.

Sexual predators are not “monogamous.” We probably have a minority of men who are doing most of the predating. Another group excuses the predators. And another group are not involved at all. Who is who?

And what’s the difference between men who treat women with kindness and respect (there are men like that) and men who harass and abuse and rape?

Statistics about when and where women are abused engender fear and place the burden on women to avoid those times and places.

Statistics about men? Could they be used to shift the responsibility from the victims to the perpetrators?

Without the statistics about men, too, we tend to either blame all men . . . or all women. Both of which are ridiculous.

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