2016-02-04 – I saw a disturbing video by Lady Gaga today. It’s called Til It Happens to You. It depicts several campus rapes and is sadly believable.

I don’t get it.

I didn’t know anything about this kind of thing when I was in college. But I was a nerdy kid who had years yet before sex became a thing for me. I was unaware of a lot of things going on. Like grass—despite the funny smell. Friends had to put a joint in my hands before it registered. It made me cough.

My boys are in college now and, through them, I know about the crisis on campus. One of my sons recently became an RA and could have to deal with the issue.

I don’t get it.

I get the sex. It may have taken me longer than most people, but I eventually figured that out. What I don’t get is the coercion. And I’m talking from the guy’s perspective. One of the big things about having consensual sex for me is the consent. It means she wants me. If I want an orgasm without her wanting me—well, I know how to get one. Believe me, I know. And you do, too. And it’s generally faster.

If you are looking for an orgasm without the want, you have a choice: masturbation or rape.

Some folks consider masturbation to be an abomination unto the lord. That leaves rape as the only other option. And it’s pretty clear that many who hold such a belief seem to think that rape is preferable to “self-abuse.”

It doesn’t work for me.

When I’m in that mood, I don’t want to be with anyone who is fighting me or unconscious. And I’m not crazy about the risk of arrest and prison, even if the odds are low. If I’m looking for a turn on, I have a pretty active imagination. If that doesn’t work for you, there’s free porn on the Internet. And speaking of the Internet, there’s willing live partners on the Internet.

We didn’t have that when I was in college, but I wasn’t looking.

Given all this, we must not be talking about people who are looking to satisfy a sexual urge. We’re talking about people who want to do harm.

On campus.

Every day.

I don’t get that either. And there’s so many of you.