2014-10-07 – Getting married is like jumping off a cliff. One moment you’re on solid ground, then next moment you are walking on air. And there are no Wile E Coyote moves to undo it.
That may be a little extreme, you say. And you may be right. Entering into a committed relationship with another person is a gradual process. You start seeing the person. You start seeing them regularly. You start seeing them intensely. Maybe you start living together. You become engaged. You survive the wedding planning process. And finally, you get married. But not finally. You still have single thoughts in your mind. One by one, those are extinguished. And finally you are a couple—till death do you part.
Not all married couples make it this far. (I’m not talking about the death part. I’m talking about the fully-committed part.)
As of yesterday, a majority of states now allow this to gay couples.
And it’s an odd thing: this is not a liberal or conservative battle. There have been staunch conservative on the side of marriage equality. (I would say, however, that we’re talking about historical conservatives, not hysterical conservatives.)
The reason for this, I think, has to do with the fact that committed relationships—marriages—promote responsible behavior. Hysterical conservatives yak about this constantly, when it suits their purposes to degrade the poor and minorities. Get married, they say. Marriage is the greatest institution we have to secure prosperity and welfare for families. Many don’t want to carry this argument to its logical conclusion.
But some do.
Like any big change in life, you’re going to wonder if it was the right thing. You wonder that when you jump off the marriage cliff. You wonder that when you take a new job or buy a new house or move to another city. The thing that makes it work is . . . faith that, if you are committed, it will work.
If you are looking for ways out . . . well, Wiley E. Coyote can tell you that looking for a way out will cause you to fall.