What Kind of Calendar Should I Get for 2022?

2021-12-20 – Today is the last day of fall.

The calendar says that winter will begin tomorrow. That’s never really been true. The seasons lag behind their calendar dates. The days will begin to get longer, but we’re not in the depths of winter on this shortest day of the year. That will go on for another month or two.

Even with climate change.

There is one thing that December 21 does accurately forecast, however. In 10 days I’m going to need a new calendar.

Of course, “need” is too strong a word. I don’t need a calendar at all. I have one on my laptop and I have one on my phone. Actually, there’s undoubtedly more than one on each of these devices. I got a friggin’ calendar in my car. I don’t need a new calendar.

But I do like getting one to hang next to my desk. I’ve had scenery calendars. I’ve had biking calendars. My current calendar is supposed to teach me Spanish, one phrase a day. Una frase por día.

(Full disclosure. I haven’t been using the calendar to learn Spanish, even though it is right here in my face every day. Just as my phone has a calendar, it also has an app to teach me Spanish. That’s what I use. Cada día.)

Of course, a new Spanish calendar would still be nice. It would have nice pictures and I could still try to learn the phrases. But maybe I should get a music calendar. Or go back to a biking calendar. I wonder if there is a pandemic calendar featuring a different variant each month.

Or maybe I could get a sex calendar that features porn stars wearing nothing but COVID masks. (I haven’t seen such a calendar, but I would be very surprised if I couldn’t find one.)

UPDATE: Just minutes into my search I found a calendar featuring dogs pooping in beautiful places. So many choices!!!

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