Just Put the Ocean in Prison

2017-06-08 – Our attorney general seems to want to put everyone in jail. Well, we don’t know if it’s everyone. He’s recused himself from “everyone.” And maybe rapists. But everyone else needs to go to prison. Smoke weed. Do time. Leak secret documents. Do time. Protest government policies. Do time. Ask an uncomfortable question at a press conference. Do time.

It seems like an all- perpose solution.

So I was wondering: if prison is so effective and solving so many of society’s problems, shouldn’t we be thinking of using prison to attack global climate change? As the oceans rise and encroach on our shores, just put them in prison.

Now you might say: Steve, easier said than done.

True enough. Just like Muslim bans, and the border wall, and Obamacare replacements, and tax reform, and Middle East peace, and infrastructure improvement. All of that is easier said than done.

But that isn’t stopping the Trump administration from saying them (and not doing them). So here’s another thing they can say and not do.

So I’m proposing the Rising Ocean Exclusion Act of 2017. Global climate change is solved.

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