2015-08-27 – OMG! I love hot fudge sundaes. And it’s my favorite flavors, too. Jamoca almond fudge and mint chocolate chip! And with whipped cream, too! Thank you! Thank you! Thank . . .
But, what’s this?
A cherry? Don’t you know that I don’t like cherries on top of whipped cream? You son of a bitch! How could you do this to me? I can’t eat it now. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I ought to blow you away with an AK-47! I ought to chop your head off with an axe! That’s it! Your head is like a cherry and I’ll chop it right off!
Do you think I’m getting a little too hot over this? It’s just a cherry, after all. I can just take it off and enjoy my sundae without it. You didn’t mean any harm. How would you know?
But a calm response is so 20th century! This is the 21st century! And in the 21st century, outrage is the thing. It doesn’t matter why. Outrage. Outrage. Outrage.
It’s the hysteria of comfort food.