I’m Thinking of Taking up Hissing—Like a Cat

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2015-03-05 – My dog is afraid of our cat. I’m not going to tell you our dog’s name (though you may know it). He or she still tries to act like the alpha dog in public. I don’t want to ruin it for her or him.

The cat in question is named Gracie. We have two cats. Gracie is gray and white. Poppy is black, like a poppy seed. (Isn’t that cute?) Gracie is an inherited cat, new to our family in just the past year. Gracie kept a low profile for a while, but a few months ago, she started hissing at the dog and swiping her claws at him or her. The dog is about eight times Gracie’s size.

I’m about 40 times Gracie’s size, not that I’m afraid of her or anything.

Poppy is pretty neutral in the pecking order. She just goes about her business and doesn’t make wave except if dinner is late. Both cats get out of the way when I walk through the room. Same when my wife Kit walks through the room, though she’s more apt to pick one of them up and sit with them in her lap than I am. The dog is either asleep or barking at the window—unless Gracie gets in his way.

I wish the dog would be as obedient to the human’s in this house as he or she is to Gracie.

It’s pretty amazing. It may be time for the dog to go for a walk, but if he or she is busy barking at the window, I am totally ignored. Until Gracie hisses. And then the dog is ready to go anywhere other than near the cat.

Yesterday, I learned that the Talmud anticipated the quantum theory construct of Schrödinger’s cat by two millennia (here’s the link, but you will be disappointed if you click on it—see, you didn’t believe me but I was right: you’re disappointed). In quantum mechanics, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead. In the Talmud, the simultaneous states are tahor and tamei (pure and impure). In our house, the simultaneous states are dominant and submissive.

Gracie is both dominant and submissive depending on the proximity of our dog. Her affect on our dog’s behavior is instantaneous and miraculous.

I’m thinking of taking up hissing. But I don’t think the claw thing would work for me.

(By the way, did you notice that I wrote an entire blog about cats and didn’t post a picture of a cat?)

One response to “I’m Thinking of Taking up Hissing—Like a Cat

  1. Exactly as it should be! We cats rule the roost in our house, too. (Except when the dogs are chasing us as though they were on a fox hunt.)

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