Dog Traffic Controllers v. Net Neutrality


2014-06-03 – Sometimes when I step out of my house with my dog Lefty on the leash, I walk right into a neighbor’s dog passing in front of my house. Well, I don’t walk right into the alien dog. Lefty would love that. I just pull back on the leash and he pulls forward and barks like he’s crazy.

It’s always a surprise because I can’t see out front before I step outside through my side door.

I always think of my dog Lefty as a flying object. He’s like a kite being buffeted by the winds, always twisting and turning. So it occurred to me that it might be a good idea to have dogs monitored and controlled in a system similar to the air traffic control system. I could have an app that would tap into the dog traffic control system to let me know the status of things before I even open the door to leave my house.

Lots of people wouldn’t like that. Before long, they would say, poodles would be getting better rights of way than pit bulls. Or would it be the other way around. I don’t know the pecking order of dogs. (Or whatever you call it. I AM aware that chickens peck and dogs don’t.)

It’s like the Internet. Lots of dogs using the Internet. Some are sweet and some are mean. A certain amount of chaos, but we make do. The FCC is planning on fixing that by creating the possibility of preferential treatment for a few poodles who can pay—to the exclusion of everyone else. Monopolist cable companies will be giving sweetheart deals to monopolist media providers. The rest of us will be out of luck. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, take a look at John Oliver’s explanation of the fight over net neutrality in an excerpt from his HBO show “Last Week Tonight.” Net neutrality will be replaced by net neutering.

Ouch! Lefty doesn’t like to hear about neutering.

I watched John Oliver’s segment last night and then took his advice. I went to the FCC website to comment on the proposed rule. I filled out the form and clicked Submit. Then I got an error message. I tried it again an hour later. It still didn’t work. Was my cable company (Comcast) blocking my submission? They are one of the top dogs advocating for the new rules, after all. Am I getting paranoid, or what? I tried to submit again this morning and the submission went through.

Try it yourself. And let me know what happened.

Us dogs gotta stick together. Woof.

One response to “Dog Traffic Controllers v. Net Neutrality

  1. Pingback: When Your Government Is a Bunch of Sneak Thieves, #Resist | Eightoh9·

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