What Can I Complain About Now?

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2014-05-08 – For the first time this year, every day in the five-day forecast hits 70 degrees (20 degrees Celsius). I just got back from a walk in the park and this statistic seems like a fair reflection of reality. I am the first person to don a jacket in the fall and the last to take it off in the spring. I was walking without a jacket, and I was comfortable. The sky was blue with puffy white clouds. The trees are clothed in that green haze that will soon turn to leaves. Flowers have bloomed.

I’m healthy and well-fed and well rested. So why do I feel so . . . empty?

The long winter may have been hard, but it provided ample reasons to complain. In fact, this winter gave us record reasons to complain. Admit it: you are starting to be nostalgic. You survived the Winter of ’14, just like I did.

The park workers were out today painting foul lines for the softball fields. The birds chirped in the trees above. The sound of hammers banged in the distance. The first lawn mowers roared. And who cares?

Our society wouldn’t thrive without complaints. You have plenty of food? Someone else doesn’t. Oh, my neighbors have plenty of food? Where did they get it from? Who are the sponging off of?

Dissatisfaction in the engine that drives our economy. Without dissatisfaction, where would we get the drive to satisfy all our . . . Oh!

Well, doesn’t it really piss you off to know how ungrateful we all really are?

Friggin’ sun! Friggin’ fresh air!

I saw a protest sign that says, “God’s Law comes first. Repeal socialist Obamacare.” Doesn’t it really piss you off that even God’s law conflicts with the Bible? (Of course, the Bible conflicts with the Bible. Thank God for that. Else, what could I complain about?)

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