2012-12-14 – Scientists at Princeton University and the University of Bristol have found traces of cheese in artifacts that are dated as 7,500 years old. Creationists date the beginning of the world as being approximately 6,000 years ago, leading to great excitement over the discovery. What these scientists may have discovered is . . .

The Big Cheese!

As with all great discoveries, the discovery of the Big Cheese raises new questions that are expected to puzzle scientists for years to come. Was the Big Cheese sharp or mild, hard or soft? And most important of all, was the Intelligent Designer lactose intolerant? Scientists are already using gas chromatography to analyze bubbles in the prehistoric residue.

At this moment, Nat is making chocolate chip cookies. We just took a look at them and they seemed quite brown and yet he closed the oven so they would bake some more. He attributed the darkness of the cookies to the amount of brown sugar in the recipe.

On the top of the oven a pot of chicken soup is boiling with matzo balls. We had potato latkes last night, that Nat made, to celebrate Hanukkah. Some say that the oil used in making the latkes commemorates the oil used to rededicate the Temple that had been desecrated by the Greeks. Latkes last night. Matzo balls tonight, even if it’s not traditional to eat matzo balls while decorating the Christmas tree.

The Intelligent Designer commanded us not to combine a meat meal with a dairy meal. So there’s no cheese tonight. He commanded us not to mix meat and dairy, but he didn’t command us not to mix Christmas with Hanukkah . . . or with Passover, for that matter.

So far, the scientists at Princeton and Bristol have found no traces of meat in the ancient artifacts alongside the Big Cheese. Could you imagine the repercussions if they had also found the Big Pepperoni?

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